MATCH YOUR SEX DRIVES NOT YOUR AGE

While playing snookers in the evening as part of my daily schedule I was having a conversation with a male peer. I was planning a movie on my weekend and thus asked for a Dil Bole Hadippa DVD, to which he said that Rani looked like Shahid’s mother in DBH. The statement did enough prodding and I contested that even Sanjay Dutt has made pairs with ‘daughter-like’ actresses like Amrita Rao in Bollywood movies, to which he said that it was a different ballgame. I seriously wonder how? In fact Rani Mukherjee in DBH has come out in best shape ever, very competitive to actresses like Priyanka Chopra. This makes his comments very ironical and outlandish. I avoided further discussion on this front because few men are intelligent and courageous enough to take up logic over their traditional upper hand.

His comment, but, reflected the rejection among men of actresses above an age limit. Personally speaking I would hate to see Sanjay Dutt with Amrita Rao, Akshay with Genelia and Shahrukh with Sonam Kapoor. I wonder if filmmakers have stopped showing mirrors to these actors so that they see the wrinkles on their faces. In fact why should they when people haven’t yet dismissed them. I wonder when will people rise to logic.

We are so much habituated to an order where men are older than women that several instances where a man is 10 years older to women meant no harm. Today it still persists in rural India though urban girls have now got enough say to dismiss such a possibility. Still in most of the instances men prefer wives at least a year younger for obvious reasons.

But the small conversation led me to anticipating the future marital order. I envisage that in 2-3 generations ahead we could also have men marrying women older to them, thus reversing the trend. This would call for obvious opposition from the older generation who will be dubbing the whole phenomenon as ‘westernisation and insane’. But I would be appreciating the courage of those generations who will be putting the traditions to their test of reason. Such traditions have ‘become’ logical on account of their lives. But the law of nature would have wanted it otherwise!

I have read many neuropsychiatrists, sexologists and couples’ counsellor saying that men have their sexual peaks quite earlier than women who hit it at around 30(This also dismisses the idea among men that men remain young but women wither faster as farce). In fact, it is one of nature’s cruel jokes that men and women seem to hit their sexual peaks at very different times. Kathryn Elliott, astt professor of psychology at the University of Louisiana, USA, says ‘we have very set ideas of what we should weigh or what the age gap between our partner and us should be, thereby restricting ourselves.’ Instead, she suggests to find someone who matches your voltage, someone who has the same intensity about life.

And this is the key to making all relationships- sexual or otherwise- work. Age is nothing but a number. What really matters in your love life apart from an understanding is whether your sex drives match. In fact the understanding comes along when your intensities towards life match.

Such an order which the Bollywood and eventually society will embrace is because step-by-step we are moving towards logic and discarding absurd archaic traditions.