THE UNCOMPROMISING BULLSHIT MALE EGO

I was inspired to write this blog by the reminiscences of a PDP (Personality Development Programme) class in my college. The class was lectured by a male teacher who singled out a male student to play a small game called ‘Hot Chair’ in which he would be fielding questions from the whole class. Things were going very propitious until a girl asked a question whose reply had force enough to provoke my feminine ego.
The girl’s question was: “What is that one trait that you would not like your wife to have?”
And the boy gave the most coward answer ever: “I would not like my wife to be working.”
One could easily sense the insecurity that surrounded this boy. The reply prompted me to ask: “You would like to have an educated woman as your wife and every educated woman would like to have her own career. So how do you think you will manage?”
Well there was no escape for him. People have heard of male ego but a feminine ego can be exponentially dangerous and he did hit that. While the boy felt short of courage and kept quite, the teacher started fielding questions for him(as they shared the same perception on this issue). The discussion revolved around two things:
One, the teacher said that every man would want his wife to take care of “their” child sitting at home for at least two years and then should rejoin her work.
Now, all those people who are in touch with international affairs would know Sarah Palin (the vice-presidential Republican candidate for the recent US elections). Famously known as hockey-mom, she returned back to the most exhausting campaigning just three days after her delivery. Which heaven gave her that courage and strength? If one woman would do that it is certainly possible for others also. Moreover, when you marry a woman and have your own child, taking care of the child demands an equal participation from your side and not a disproportionate one. It is not the sole responsibility of the woman and if you ask her to sit at home, you should also do the same.
Secondly, he said that women leave their jobs because they are “not able to do” so many things together- conceiving a child, looking after him/her and taking a job etc. etc. simultaneously. Now there, my teacher, if even you were given to do so many things together, even you would have not been successful. After all a woman is also a human being. Moreover, when you want her to sit at home for 2 years looking after your baby, do you think she remains trained and competitive enough to step into another world so suddenly after 2 years and work as efficiently as she used to in her office just like before? Ultimately she’s not able to stand all that, becomes frustrated and demoralised and gives in. And finally, your plot of a totally illogical & absurd “2 years” has worked out!
Whether or not you were able to persuade her to sit at home, finally she has given in. And you then blame everything on women’s abilities. Double victory, isn’t it?
The most surprising part was that only one male student – Rahul, among 20 supported me. While he raised his voice stating that “P. Chidambaran’s wife is an advocate in the Supreme Court” his comment was sidelined by the teacher as it could easily undermine his defence. The other boys were implicitly against me, though quite. If only one person among 20 could support me, just imagine the ratio of males in our country who really understand women, their dignity & freedom!!